Best Practise for Effective One-to-One Meetings with Team Members

One-to-one meetings are one of the most powerful tools in a manager’s toolkit. They offer a rare space for undivided attention, candid conversation, and meaningful connection between a manager and a team member. When done well, they can improve performance, strengthen trust, and boost wellbeing. When done poorly, however, they can feel like a tick-box exercise - or even worse, a source of stress for the team member.

This blog article explores best practice for holding effective one-to-one meetings, focusing on how managers can use them to check in on performance and wellbeing in a balanced, supportive way.

Why one-to-one meetings matter

In busy workplaces, it’s easy for conversations to become transactional: updates on tasks, quick queries, and fire-fighting issues. What often gets lost is deeper communication about how someone is really doing - both in terms of their work performance and their personal wellbeing.

One-to-ones create that essential pause. They provide a safe, dedicated time for two-way dialogue, rather than top-down instruction. Regular meetings:

• Build trust by showing that you value the individual.
• Promote accountability by creating space to reflect on performance and priorities.
• Enhance engagement by listening to concerns, ideas, and aspirations.
• Support wellbeing by checking how the person is coping with workload, stress, or external pressures.

Put simply, they’re the foundation of good leadership and management.

Frequency and structure

There’s no one-size-fits-all, but most managers find that holding one-to-ones every two to four weeks works well. Weekly meetings can feel excessive unless the role is very demanding; quarterly meetings risk becoming too infrequent to be effective.

Duration matters too. Aim for 30–60 minutes. Shorter than that, and conversations feel rushed. Longer, and the discussion can lose focus.

A helpful structure is to split the meeting into three broad areas:

• The person – wellbeing, motivation, personal issues that may affect work.
• The work – progress on goals, challenges, and performance feedback.
• The future – development, career goals, and upcoming opportunities.

This balance ensures you’re not just discussing tasks but also the bigger picture of performance and growth.

Preparation is key

Both manager and team member should prepare in advance. This avoids the “awkward silence” problem and ensures you cover what matters most.

• As a manager, review previous notes, key performance indicators, and any ongoing issues. Think about the feedback you want to give.
• Encourage your team member to bring their own agenda—topics, questions, or concerns they’d like to discuss.

Some organisations use shared templates or online tools where both parties can add agenda points in advance. This creates transparency and shared ownership of the conversation.

Creating the right environment

Psychological safety is critical. A one-to-one is not an interrogation; it’s a conversation. Choose a setting that encourages openness:

• Private space: A quiet room or, if remote, a video call without distractions.
• Tone: Be approachable and human. Start with light conversation to put the person at ease.
• Consistency: Keeping one-to-ones regular shows that they’re a priority, not an afterthought.

When trust is high, employees are far more likely to open up about struggles with workload, wellbeing, or team dynamics.

Balancing performance and wellbeing

One of the common pitfalls is focusing solely on performance metrics. While these matter, they don’t tell the full story. Equally, conversations that only explore wellbeing can miss the accountability aspect. The art of a good one-to-one is in the balance.

Checking-in on performance

Performance discussions should be constructive, not punitive. Some best practices include:

• Celebrate wins first. Recognition is motivating and sets a positive tone.
• Give specific feedback. Instead of vague praise or criticism, point to concrete examples.
• Explore challenges. Ask what obstacles are making progress difficult and how you can help remove them.
• Revisit goals. Check whether objectives are still realistic and aligned with team priorities.

Checking-in on wellbeing

Wellbeing can feel harder to discuss, particularly in a work context, but it’s essential. Without it, performance will suffer in the long term. To check in effectively:

• Normalise the conversation. Ask open questions like, “How are you coping with your workload?” or “What support would help you right now?”
• Look for signals. Notice signs of stress, disengagement, or fatigue.
• Respect boundaries. Don’t press for personal detail if someone isn’t comfortable sharing.
• Follow up. If wellbeing issues are raised, make sure to check in again later.

By weaving performance and wellbeing together, you show that you value the whole person - not just the outputs.

Listening with intent

Active listening is one of the most important skills in a one-to-one. Too often, managers dominate the conversation, leaving little room for the employee. Instead:

• Listen more than you speak. Aim for a 70/30 split, with the employee talking most of the time.
• Use probing questions. Phrases like “Tell me more about that” or “What’s the hardest part of this project for you?” deepen understanding.
• Reflect back. Summarise what you’ve heard to show you’re listening and to confirm understanding.

This approach not only surfaces valuable insights but also makes employees feel heard and respected.

Handling difficult conversations

Not every one-to-one will be easy. Sometimes, performance issues or wellbeing concerns require frank discussion. Here are some tips:

• Address issues early. Don’t wait until frustrations build up.
• Focus on behaviour, not personality. For example, say, “I’ve noticed deadlines are being missed,” rather than, “You’re unreliable.”
• Stay solution-oriented. Work together to identify practical steps forward.
• Remain calm. Even if emotions run high, maintain a supportive and professional tone.

Handled well, difficult conversations can actually strengthen the relationship, as they demonstrate honesty and care.

Documenting and following up

A one-to-one doesn’t end when the meeting finishes. Summarise key points, agreed actions, and deadlines - ideally in a shared document. This keeps both sides accountable and ensures continuity from one meeting to the next.

Follow-up is where trust is built. If you promised to remove an obstacle, provide training, or adjust workload, make sure you do it. Consistency builds credibility.

Common pitfalls to avoid

• Cancelling repeatedly. It signals that the person isn’t a priority.
• Turning it into a status update. Save task updates for team meetings or project tools.
• Talking too much. The meeting is for the employee, not the manager.
• Being unprepared. Lack of preparation leads to shallow or repetitive conversations.

A practical example

Consider a sales manager meeting with one of their account executives. Instead of jumping straight into monthly targets, the manager begins by asking how the person is managing their workload, given recent staff shortages. The team member admits to feeling overwhelmed. Together, they explore temporary support options.

The conversation then moves to performance. The manager praises a recent client win, gives feedback on how to improve follow-up emails, and checks progress against goals. They finish by discussing career ambitions and arranging training on negotiation skills.

The result? The team member leaves feeling valued, supported and clear on next steps. Performance improves not because of pressure, but because of balanced direct and support.

Conclusion

Effective one-to-one meetings are about far more than progress updates. They are about building trust, supporting wellbeing, and enabling performance through open, balanced dialogue. When managers prepare well, listen actively, and follow up consistently, these conversations become one of the most powerful drivers of engagement and productivity in the workplace.

So, whether you’re an experienced leader or new to management, treat one-to-ones as non-negotiable. Make them regular, make them meaningful, and make them matter.

Paul Beesley

Director and Senior Consultant, Beyond Theory

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